I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
