..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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