wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize