I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
