I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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