There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
