Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its not stalking. its research.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize