You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize