I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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