they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
