let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
