Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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