Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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