is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
