As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
