Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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