Grow some girl-balls and come out already
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
