I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
