plz talk dirty to me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
a search helicopter?!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
