If i come over, it means nothing
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
