Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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