I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
