i barfeds in our rink
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
