I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize