I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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