yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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