you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
