im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
