I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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