belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
