I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
