whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
