Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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