Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
