4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
