So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
