remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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