Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
