So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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