You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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