yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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