I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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