Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
