i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize