Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
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Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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