can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
love makes seman taste better
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
