@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
