Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
