Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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