I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
