Will you blow on my dice?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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