my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
