were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
