U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
