we're blogging at a bar
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
