at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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