Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
