im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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