Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
