hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
