at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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