i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
