I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
